My Family

My Family

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The journey begins!

We have finally finished everything!  The paperwork is done and we are on to the next phase in the journey.  More waiting =)! 

But if I have learned anything from adoption 101 the first time around it is to always expect the unexpected.  A social worker has found us.  She has brought a little boy to my attention.  His name is Riley and he has had a rough start, but has made tremendous strides.  I told her we were not quite in the home stretch yet (this was about two weeks ago).  She told me no problem.  Then she sent me a flyer with pictures, contact information, and a request to talk to our teen social worker.  I must say, I was pretty floored.  And touched by the fact that she was actively seeking a home for Riley. 

There are a few flaws in this happily ever after plan.  The first is that he is a first contact.  Which usually means in the adoption world first contacts have a very slim chance of panning out.  It's sad, but true.  For various reasons like it is raining green hail on Mars (they are usually stupid reasons) the social worker backs out. 

The second is that Riley is bi-racial.  Gasp...  It doesn't bother me, as love knows no color, but sadly we have family who it may bother.  Family who has not come out of the days of cotton and crow laws.  The first time around Shannon was concerned about it, but we have come to realize that if our family can't accept choices than that is their problem not ours.  Plus most of them are not seen on a regular basis.  Or as my husband so eloquently said, "They can shove it!".  I love that man. 

The third and most daunting reason is that Riley has medical conditions.  Nothing that will shatter the earth, but they are they.  He wears braces to walk.  He also has a condition that causes tumors to grown in his body.  But he fights.   He refused a wheelchair and learned to walk.  He goes to preschool.  He gardens, plays, and loves all things little boys love.  In short, he had a lousy break in life. 

It would also mean changes in a life that I have worked hard to obtain and enjoy.  But sometimes the things we thought we wanted aren't really what we wanted in the first place.  Life gives you choices to make and chances to take.  So I have made the choice and am taking a really big chance. 

Our social worker will be making a call next week.  Our life will never be the same one way or another after it.  But I am ready.  Let the journey begin.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Light at the end of the Tunnel

So here we are in a new year!   Marvin has survived the holiday season with even less triggers than last year, which is a plus.  The decorations have gone down except for my snowman collection.  Living in Virginia you never know what kind of weather you will have in the winter.  So far, I have been disappointed.  No snow.  Well five flakes yesterday, but that doesn't count!!  I want a real honest to goodness snow.  Yes, you may check me into the funny farm.  I like snow. 

But I digress.  It has been a week of ups and downs.  I am back in the classroom and loving it.  The children are eager to learn and I have all sorts of neat works out.  More in the works.  We are almost finished with the final paperwork push!!!  Yay!!!  We have also been approached by another social worker.  This time it looks really promising.  A three year old with lots of moxy.  But who knows how that will play out.  Just when you think you have something good lined up it is taken away.  So I refuse to get over excited.  So that has been the up part of my week. 

But there has also been lots of sadness in the family as well.  My brother in law will stand trial on February for a crime that happened many years ago.  It will be a jury trial.  They have been putting it off in the system for over a year so it was really easy to push it back in my mind and not dwell too much on it.  It was always there though, like the proverbial elephant in the room.  It was a shock to find out the bother in law I adore made such a tragic mistake.  It was a stupid accident and no one really knows what happened.  That's the nutty part of it. 

This has shook us up, but it hasn't destroyed us.  We are a tough family.  There has been an outpouring of love and support.  Which we needed.  We still do.  So keep us in your thoughts in the upcoming weeks.  So far the DA isn't in to making a plea deal.  So we will be going to court unless a miracle happens.  Life is full of ups and downs.  I just wish my downs weren't such doozies!  If trials make me stronger like they say I will be one tough chick by the end of this one.