My Family

My Family

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Back in the swing of things

I know, I know.....   Bad blogger, where fort art thy posts?   

I do have some good reasons=), really!  First my parents came to visit from Colorado and I took time to spend it with them and  do the whole family bonding thing.  I love it when they come.  They live so darn far away that I spend every minute I can with them when they are here. 

Here they are!  (Sorry mom did I mention I was going to do this=)?)  Anyway, it was a great time.  We did a ton of house work.  I now have a beautiful blue kitchen with crisp white curtains, a towel bar that is firmly inserted in my bathroom wall, and a garden complete with strawberry plants and hopefully rhubarb.  We did get out and do some fun stuff as well.  This is at the canal walk in Richmond. 

I have also been typing parent teacher conferences.  They are hard for me to do.  You would think I would have the hang of it by now, but I really don't.  So I have spent so much time writing the darn things that the last thing I want to do is get on the computer and write more.  But it is time for a much needed update so here I am. 

We have gone through the normal and expected loss process associated with a pre-adoption break up.  Our teen social worker is coming to grips with it as well.  She has her hand full with us as you will soon see.  So I was feeling crappy and I went to AdoptUsKids and checked out my inbox.  I had several flags.  What???  Flags are messages that social workers are waiting for you.  Who me?  Yes.  So I quickly sent out homestudies to the appropriate people.  The first one we said no to.  He had a history of hurting small children and animals.  That one I didn't feel bad about.  The second two are more promising.  Our homestudies are being considered for both children.  One I am pretty sure will be a no go as there are probably fifty plus submitted for him.  That is like finding a needle in a haystack.  The other is more promising.  So we are waiting to see. 

The reason why we are causing our social worker angst is that we are, get this, considering out of state children (gasp).  Apparently we are doing something terribly taboo here.  Her thing is that our agency hasn't done an out of state placement in 5 years.  Most states only want to adopt to people in their own state.  Hold the pony here.  I mistakenly thought that the goal was to adopt the kids to parents.  Now, I understand if they have siblings and are split up and want to remain close to them.  That I get.  But really???  That is discrimination plain and simple just because I live in Virginia I can only adopt a child from Virginia????  So I e-mailed back and asked if this was a problem.  She just said that we should think about adopting close to our home.  I sent her back an e-mail that my HOME is not releasing any children now.  Plus to me Virginia is nice and all, but my heart is in New England.  I love that area.  I lived there six years and would love to move back some day.  Not to mention growing up in the mid-west.  So I am a person who has lived in many places.  Home is where your family is.  My family is in Virginia and Colorado.  So those places are my home.  I sublease in other states, haha.  So now that we have bucked the "traditional" system we are making our worker's life more interesting.  She is being nice about it, but I think she will be glad to graduate and get rid of us soon=).  I just keep reminding myself that she loves Marvin and I take lots of deep breaths before I respond to her e-mails. 

So that is where we stand now.  I hope to have some news in these next couple of weeks on our progress.  I am back in the fight now and have come out swinging.  Look out world here I come!!!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

I'm a Hopeful Parent

So we have been a bit down around here but are slowly moving on with the everyday.  I can't dwell in tomorrow I can only live out today. 

I have gone back to kid shopping.  It seems that every time I find a child it is being placed, can't be places, or the parents are fighting the termination of their rights so the child is not available.  But I keep slogging on hoping that somewhere out there we have a match.  Plus I found out that our teen social worker is graduating in May.  She wrote us a Dear John e-mail stating that, "As you know I graduate in May and will be leaving Children's Home Society in June.  I will be handing you over to another social work who I am sure will want to meet with you blah blah blah."  Say what???   No I did not know that you were ditching us.  Geez.  So that will be a real pain in the butt.  She never told us about this.  If I would have known I would have requested another social worker.  Not that I don't like ours but we had this happen during our first adoption and it was a real mess to lose our worker.  So I am not pleased. 

But despite setbacks and social worker drama we march on.  I have my parents from Colorado in for ten days.  They are excited to spend time with their perfect grandchild (they used to like me too, but now it is all about Marvin) and spoil him rotten.  We have some fun family plans and as I write this I am happily boiling eggs to dye later on today.  Marvin is excited about Easter and is demanding gum in his basket.  I am happy to oblige.  I also got him some really cool educational materials for his basket.  Don't look at me like that.  He really loves to learn and isn't in to candy.  I am going to make the most of it while I can=). 

I also picked up another blog gig hence the catchy title of my post.  When Marvin first came to live with us I felt very isolated and alone and just downright scared.  So I found a community of people who shared my fear, hopes, and dreams for a better life for our kids.  It is called hopeful parents and I am a proud member of it.  I have been asked to blog for them once a month.  It is a big deal. Lots of people read the blog and the bloggers are very real.  I am honored and really excited to get a chance to blog for them.  So look for me on the 12th monthly over there.  And check out the other bloggers.  I have had chances to reach out and not only be a Hopeful Parent, but a friend.  Which is what we all really need at the end of the day. 

Have a great Easter!