Moving on

First off I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, and support last week.  It has been a very difficult week and we have had many ups and downs as the week progressed. 

The viewing for great-grandma was full of many people.  It was an open casket so Marvin was a little confused.  People kept going up to see her and Marvin kept shushing them because he thought great-grandma was sleeping in her special bed and getting better.  It was funny and heartbreaking at the same time.  I did try to keep telling him that her soul was in heaven, but he didn't like my explanation to much.  Later when we got home he sat in my lap and cried.  I cried too. 

The funeral was hard for him.  I had wanted to take him to school so he could have a bit of a routine but my husband had the day off and after a few "intense" discussions I caved and let him stay home.  The service was right in the middle of nap time so I knew that may be a bit challenging.  It was.  But we made it through.  We also found bits of humor here and there.  Marvin had some cereal to keep him quiet during the service but of course he had to eat it as loudly as humanly possible.  Which cracked up many on our pew (and probably annoyed equally as many).  We also heard a rooster crowing during the graveside service and I was asked if I was having post traumatic chicken disorder (I was attacked by a rooster about a week ago and my family has been making jokes about it ever since.  I can laugh at it now=) ). 

There were also sweet moments where we remembered a life well lived.  I found out things about Eunice that I had never known.  She was an amazing woman born into the roaring twenties.  She married and lived through the great depression.  Her wedding meal was a BLT sandwich and her husband had to buy her shoes.  Eunice had a special talent for cooking and could make a meal out of just about anything.  She served actively in her church for over eighty years and was married for seventy-two years.  Not many people can claim that. 

I find as the week goes on that instead of trying to keep busy so I can forget and escape the pain of loss that I now am pausing and trying to remember.  I remember how she welcomed me without hesitation when Shannon and I were dating.  How she was so sweet and kind.  She took time to listen to me and got to know me.  She told me her stories of marriage and growing up.  I loved listening to her stories. 

So even though Eunice is gone she still lives.  Her features and temperament live in my mother-in-law and my husband.  Her cooking talents live in them also.  She lives in my nephew and even in my son.  A part of her lives in me too.  Her stories live in me.  It is a legacy that I will pass on to my son and he will pass on to his children someday.  For when we are remembered, we are never truly gone.