Aftershock

So after a really bumpy bit of emotional turbulence I am thankful to say that we are settling down.  I will have to say I am a bit bruised and battered, but after the worst of the storm had passed and we picked ourselves up and dusted off, I realized that I was still standing.  A little battered, but still standing. 

We are marching forward in our adoption.  A little girl is waiting for a family and we are waiting for a little girl.  The social worker however, is making sure that this is a long long long process.  She was supposed to have stuff done last week, but you know how that goes.  She now wants to contact all of our old adoption references.  She is going to talk to Marvin's social worker and our old agency, Lutheran Family Services.  I told her that was fine, we have nothing to hide.  I can't help but wonder if she will next want all my old teachers or any other ridiculous trifles.  Sigh.  The things I do.  Now I know that they only want the best, but really?  They have so much on their plates already and they just make more work for themselves.  We are not that crazy and I would like to think that Marvin is turning out somewhat O.K. despite my many mistakes=). 

But I will have to say that I have felt God's peace throughout this week so I have a strong feeling that things are going to be O.K.  Thanks for the prayers, we have needed them.  I will have to say that I have spent lots of time talking to God and petitioning Him.  Good thing He is patient.  And faithful.  He and I have had talks about the fulfilling of His promise.  I have claimed the verse "He has settled the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children."  Note children.  I am walking in faith that I will have many children.  It is just a matter of time. 

But I still hate transitions.  And change is not easy.  It will also impact Marvin.  He will have lots of changes to make.  One of them may be our church.  Our format is changing and they are possibly eliminating my Sunday School class.  So I spent a good week being very upset about it and whining like a very spoiled brat.  Then I got that out of my system, felt really embarrassed for my bad behavior.  Just because others around me make poor choices doesn't mean I have to follow.  So I prayed to be released from my teaching duties.  Guess what?  I'm not only not released, more is going to be expected.  Oh brother.  I should know better by now you'd think.  But God does not want me to do a once a month stint as was suggested.  He is asking Shannon and I to step out and follow.  Control freak that I am it is rather hard, but I am willing.  We are going to start moonlighting at other churches to see where God wants us to go.  Tomorrow we will begin our journey.  We need to raise Marvin in a solid church where he is allowed to attend Sunday School and go to church.  God revealed to me that there was a major disconnect between the children and the church.  It was kind of scary.  So we need to be where Marvin can plug in. 

So we march on in faith and hopes that we will make good choices in the weeks that follow.  We have lots to accomplish and very little time to do it all in.  But God is faithful and I believe that we are at least on the right path.  It is scary, but sometimes stepping out in faith is.  I am keeping my eyes on the finish line and it feels like it is finally in sight!