My adoption journey

Adoption is a journey.  It starts with a life that wasn't planned for, wanted, or needed.  This life is passed from one family to the next.  It is a complex situation.  The life is expected to pick up a new identity, culture, and set of values.  For some it was like being born in France and shipped of to Iran.

For others, it is a gentle cycle.  Like it was just meant to be.  It was like nature made a mistake and corrected itself.

My children are adopted.  But so am I.  I was adopted at infancy and given to a couple who could not have children.  My name, Amy means beloved.  And I truly am.

I always felt that I fell into the latter category.  Nature corrected itself and I was placed with the right family. That was the end of the road.

When I learned more about adoption and reuniting with bio-families I was curious, but content where I was.  The only thing that mildly annoyed me was the fact that I had no medical records.  So I just decided that when it was time I would register on reunion boards and see what happens.

Years went by.  I got older and nothing happened.  I sort of put two and two together and figured that it was a bad situation, I was not going to get any answers, and that sometimes it is just a good idea to let things drop.  I erased all my info and just moved on.  I had two children in my home and a busy life.

But then something happened.  They found me.  I was getting ready for my son's play date when I got an e-mail.  It simply stated that this person may be my cousin.  I took one look at it and did what I normally do.  I freaked.  Luckily, Cary's aid was there and basically told me to stop over thinking it and answer the darn e-mail.

I took a breath, said a prayer, and I did.

By choosing this path I opened a new can of worms.  I learned about a pregnant scared teen who didn't know what to do.  I learned that my bio family was in a really bad situation and one baby changed them and gave them the strength to escape it.  I learned that even in the midst of bad things good takes place.

So now what's next?  Well I have a medical history so my doctor can keep a close eye on me for hereditary conditions.  I also have a new side to my family tree.  A cousin, an aunt, and a grandmother. I enjoy hearing from them and getting all the questions I didn't even know I had answered.  I feel like I now know where some of my quirks and the things that make me, well me come from.

But at the heart of it all and at the end of the day I am still Amy.  Still the daughter of two people from Colorado.  Still the big sister to one amazing sister in Colorado who gave me the bestest nephew and niece in the world.  My bio family gave me life, but my family gave me the strength to live it, the courage to try new things, and the joy in day to day life.

Both families have played some part in who I am and who I have become.  I am awed and blessed to be a part of both.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.