This week has been tough for many of my mama friends. I just got off the phone with one. She's so far away from me but always in my heart. I think often about these women. They have been such a huge influence in my life. They have taught me that it's not in how you fall it's in how you rise.
Having one child with special needs is a challenge. But when we willingly chose to take on number two there were many who questioned my sanity. Heck, I questioned it at times (alright a lot). But looking at the face of our soon to be daughter I knew we had made the right choice.
That didn't mean it was easy. For years I was "that person". You know the one who knew how to get your kid to nap, eat right, do complex algebra while folding the laundry. Ahem.
Cary Lynn threw all that right out the window within one week. After my ego had been properly bruised I realized it was OK not to have all the answers. I even figured out it was OK not to know all the questions. Instead I learned. I still learn. I read, research, and dig. Then I dig more. I listen better and stop assuming that I know everything. I admit that I am human and am going to mess up. And I have become OK with that.
I was also the person who would never do that. You know. The one you talk to in passing about your child's g-tube and they get this weird look like they would rather be transported to Mars and disintegrated on the spot. "I can't imagine how you can do that?!? I NEVER would."
Well guess what buttercup? I wasn't going to either. But I have. And I do. One day it just clicked that this is not the most awful thing that could ever happen and I would not turn into troll by doing it. I know change g-tubes, bolus feed, give enemas like a pro, can tell you super good tricks on how to clean out vomit quickly and still show up to church looking good, and can clean up a dreaded bed feed in about three minutes when necessary. If it was your child you would learn. Love is a powerful motivator.
We fall. We are human. We will keep falling. But the important part is that we don't just lay down and die. We rise. We stand back up. Sometimes it's hard to do because we have been trampled and bruised by life. It hurts. It takes courage to get back up again. Lots of it. Sometimes you need a hand and that's OK. But the important thing is that you keep on standing. You are stronger than what life throws at you. So don't be afraid to rise and try again. And again. Because when you rise you show that you are stronger than your circumstances and that you will be the victor over them and not the victim of them. And while you may never figure out how to do that complex algebra (sorry I stopped advising on that a long time ago) you will find something even better. You will find that you are not only ready to meet hard knocks but able to say with pride that yes you may fall but you also are going to rise again.