This year has had so many changes I feel like just when I get used to something or our routines seem set another shake up comes along. To put it bluntly, 2016 sort of sucked. There have been some rough years in our family but after this year I'm ready to say, stick a fork in me I'm done!!
From Autism to medical issues. From bills to poor school services. From sickness to dashed dreams. I so wanted to yell, "Stick a fork in me, I'm done!!!" There are days I just wanted to hide and shut the world out. Moments when I held Cary Lynn and just cried because I couldn't stand to see her in constant pain. Days when I wanted to be supermom but couldn't even get the socks to match from my dryer.
Yes, it has been a rough year. But despite the bumps and jolts of the roller coaster of life for every downward dip there have been wonderful moments as well.
For Marvin it was finding a good mental health provider. Even with a new diagnosis having support in place that is helping us (and Marvin) learn the skills he needs. This provider has been teaching Marvin self advocacy skills and he is starting to bloom. Instead of destroying the house in a rage he's trying to slow down, using new coping skills. He has began to speak up. Marvin has advocated for changes in his life. I know we have a long way to go but I feel like we are finally on the right path.
Cary Lynn is finding her voice. Despite dealing with daily pain and a body that doesn't work right her mind continues to expand. She astounds people with what she knows. We've worked hard at keeping her healthy and even though she continues to have health challenges this year has been a bit better (not stellar, but enough progress to make us happy). She loves books and music, Peppa Pig and her Dah. She smiles and still manages to kick and bite everyone who has a Dr. title. She laughs at her dog and gets annoyed when you invade her personal space. And when you shut off her Ipad. I love the fact that she does get mad and annoyed. When people tell me how happy she is I have to hide a smirk......
There are going to be so many changes this coming year. We will travel out of state for medical care, new school adventures, more training for Noel, and trying to look after my own health a little better as well.
Looking back pre kids at Christmas I remember hanging stocking and thinking how much we wanted children. It didn't matter what kind of kids, we just wanted children. Now two special needs adoptions later and everything that comes with it all I want is some sleep and housecleaners!! Kidding, sort of.... Seriously, if I could go back or look forward I don't honestly know if I would change anything in my part of the journey. Marvin and Cary Lynn may have a different answer to that but it will be their part of the story to tell. These two kids with multiple needs who are both classified as disabled have turned my life upside down but they have also made me something pretty special. Their mom. Not supermom, but a pretty darn decent human who on her best days can get things done and on her worst days cries over mismatched socks.
All I want for Christmas? I have it. And I'm thankful.