If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. -Henry David Thoreau
We all dream big dreams for our kids. I'm no exception. When you sit and gaze lovingly over your child's cradle, watch them play, and dream about what amazing things they are going to do. Your son picks up a bandaid and you see a doctor. Your daughter draws that first picture and you see the next O'Keeffe.
What happens when your dreams crash with reality? What happens when your dreams don't match up with your kid's life?
This is what my struggle has been these couple of weeks. Trying to find new rhythms in our life song. It's been hard for me. I don't like watching the kids struggle. I don't like seeing them fail.
When your son says that he can't keep his homework straight and the words swim and the tears fall. When your daughter can't go to the super awesome program that you've been on the waiting list for two years for because her body isn't strong enough.
I hear the words of Marvin's doctor in my mind, "It must be so frustrating. He's smart but the doors are locked in certain areas of his mind and the key is always three steps beyond his grasp." Cary Lynn's dev ped pretty much says the same thing every visit, "Her mind is there and it's trapped in a body that refuses to let it be free."
I've gotten used to letting things go, it's just a fact of life. But it doesn't make it sting less. My kids will always struggle more than most kids will. But they have their own paths to follow, not my path. My path would take away the challenges and obstacles that they need to equip them. To make them strong. They need a chance to travel their paths, not mine. Their paths will teach them strength, grace, humor, and courage.
They won't be easy paths, life never is. But they won't have to travel alone. I'll be right there with them. Stepping to their music and finding their unique songs.