My Family

My Family

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Good, the bad, and the downright annoying

I was hoping to post a little later on today, but Marvin's school decided that it needed to close at 1pm due to the impending doom of snow.  Really?  I remember growing up in the Midwest.  We WENT to school.  In snow.  In rain.  In fog.  And no, I did not walk uphill 3 miles both ways in a raging blizzard.  I got a ride.

So another week of doctors and drama. I feel like sometimes I live in a soap opera and all I want to do is turn it off and crawl under the covers.  But since life doesn't work like that I have to roll with it.  I must say that lately I have been rolling a lot better.  I think it has to do with my goals from my previous post.  I have been working on them and it has improved my attitude in general.  That and all the love and support around me.  It has helped.  More than most people realize.

On the good note Marvin is having a fantastic kindergarten year.  I would never have guessed.  Being the Montessori snob that I am I had pooh poohed public school and really thought that we were all that and a bag of chips.  I would have to say that I also did not display an appropriate attitude towards other forms of learning.  Thankfully, I have had a much needed attitude adjustment.  Marvin's teacher is the most amazing woman who has taken time, shown love, and kindled Marvin's fire for learning.  She is amazing.  Wonderful.  Perfect for my child.  Plus she has been so super with our family.  I want to take her home with me:).  And I get to abdicate from being his teacher.  No more power struggles with that.  It has improved our relationship tenfold.  I still love Montessori, but  have become more open to other options.

Another good thing is that Cary Lynn has had no sign of seizure activity.  She grows, she eats, she poops, and is generally a very happy baby.  As I am typing this she is in her pink bouncy seat banging on her toys and going "MMMM MMMM MMMM."   Which is Cary talk for life is good and I am soooo stinkin happy!

On the bad notes the termination of parental rights is around the corner.  Everyone expects good things, but it ties my stomach up in knots.  My social worker said that we are "kind Christian people that will be compassionate towards the family and show love to them."  Now I am going to be honest.  I do feel pity toward them.  But love??  That is something I am working on along with forgiveness.  I don't think I will be in court holding hands and singing campfire songs with them just yet.  Give me time.  This is a process.  I have to go through it a bit at a time.  Plus, I am now annoyed with my social worker so now I have something else to work on.

We also found out that Cary Lynn has abnormal growth patterns.  She is low on her growth hormones.  Not tragically bad, just the low end of normal.  Endocrine does not need to see her until July, so I am not letting that bother me for the time being.

On the downright annoying note the award goes to Cary's GI doctor.  I bring in a chubby 17 pound baby and he has the nerve to tell me she has not gained enough.  After thoroughly worrying the snot out of me about getting her a button for tubal feedings and telling me she needs to eat more, go on Pediasure, but she is refluxing because she was eating too much, and by the way good job mom I went out to the parking lot, got in my car and screamed.  Then I felt better.  Then I got smart and called the feeding clinic.

After a panicked call, the nutritional counselor assured me that Cary was just fine.  Her weight gain is great.  That GI doctors get special pleasure out of bringing doom and gloom into our lives.  I also got the calories she needed daily, grams of protein needed, and all sorts of good advice.  I felt better.

So now I can pick up and continue in the soap opera of life. Stayed tuned for next week's episode about the TPR trial:).

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