This is my husband Shannon. We have been married for seven years now and have know each other
for almost 10 years. We met on-line, had a 15 minute first date and I thought I would probably never see him again. Luckily, he was persistent and we ended up married.
After we were married we thought about kids. Actually, I mostly thought about kids. I wanted a really big family and had visions of the Brady Bunch in my head. It turns out I couldn't have kids. Back when we were dating I had told Shannon that I wanted to adopt at some point. I am adopted as is my sister and it was really important to me. He said sure. So after talking to Shannon we decided to go through with adoption.
We decided to do domestic adoption. I had seen so many kids in foster care that I had mistakenly assumed that agencies would just shower us with children. WRONG!!!! We took classes in Florida, got approved. Then we moved back to Virginia for my husband's job and had to take classes all over again because the classes in Florida didn't count in Virginia. So after a year and a half of classes and home studies we were approved and once again I mistakenly assumed that now we just got a kid. Strike two! We met many children. We had an adoption worker change their mind about placing a sibling group with us. We talked with social workers who refused to give up the children in their care to any adoptive family. By then my confidence had faded and I cried about six times a day. I was ready to quit and just be happy with other things. Then we got a call from a social worker. She had a very special little boy who needed a family. He was little and had many disabilities. Could we talk? I told her I couldn't take it anymore. I probably yelled a bit and cried. I said I just couldn't have one more child dangled in front of me to be taken away. She was quiet for a bit. Then she said, "The reason you weren't able to adopt those other children is because you were meant to be Marvin's mama." Then I was quiet. I took a breath and I believed.
As a result we have a beautiful boy. Now the road to getting it all down and official was a pain. We often disagreed with the social worker as she had some different opinions and reality perceptions. But we ended up being her favorite family. Marvin also was born Meth addicted and his biological mother abused him badly. He has Shaken Baby Syndrome. He has mild delays and attachment/bonding issues. But we have learned to take one day at a time and enjoy the blessing of being Marvin's forever family.
So ideally that is where the story should end and I should just spend time blogging about chicken pies or whatever people blog about. But it is not the end, just a very slow beginning. Shannon and I have talked and after thinking about it we have decided to adopt again. Why is the first question most people ask? Especially after your very bad experiences. I think for us it is knowing that there are still many many children out there who need a family. I have talked to children who have aged out of the system. They are broken. Most don't go to college, get put in jail, and often have their own children taken away from them. We have a lot of love to give and Marvin wants a "brudder" or a "scissor". It is a good time in our lives. The system is broken, but it is the only system we have. This time I feel more prepared and ready to meet the challenges. I am a seasoned warrior going back to battle. I am ready for all the obstacles and ready for the journey.