My Family

My Family

Friday, July 29, 2011

Triggers are not just on guns

Triggers are described as moments that can bring back pleasant or unpleasant memories.  For example, every time I smell fresh ripe peaches I am transported back to when I was a little girl and we made home made peach ice cream on hot summer days.  Yum. 

But for others trigger moments can be scary.  They can make you forget where you are and totally loose it.  I guess when we got Marvin I thought that because he was so young that this would not be such a big deal.  I think I mentioned in a previous post my uncanny ability to be so wrong. 

The first trigger was when I had to change Marvin's diaper.  We were at a gas station and I went in to use the changing table.  Good mommy that I was I wiped it down and then spread a clean blanket over it.  Marvin was calmly watching me and then I put him on the table.  Now most kids aren't that crazy about them but they deal.  Marvin let out a scream like I was beating him.  He then lost all focus and went stiff.  He continued to emit high pitched screams that you could hear out in the grocery area while trying to yank his hair out.  My wonderful mother-in-law, bless her many times over came running in and helped me get Marvin out.  Once we had left the bathroom area and I headed out to the car we were able to calm and comfort him.  Even though it never said in his file Shannon and I believe that he was dropped from a high spot.  We will never know.  All I know is that we changed Marvin on the ground. 

We have had many other triggers.  Once I was driving to Marvin's daycare and we saw a helicopter.  It was on the ground by the hospital.  Marvin went stiff and cried in terror.  I had to pull over the car and hold him for about 20 minutes.  That one I got.  After he was shaken and unresponsive he had to be medi lifted in a helicopter to a hospital.  I think I would hate them to at that point. 

Over the years I have come to recognize the signs of a trigger moment coming on.  As Marvin gets older he is learning to say "That scares me".  He and I do a lot of deep breaths together.  Today we were outside in the miserable heat playing in Marvin's pool and a car much like his social worker's car drove by.  Now mind you we haven't see her in over a year but for most little kids social workers equal "I am coming to take you away".  Marvin started going stiff and quivering while pointing at the car while saying his social worker's name.  I took Marvin's hands and made him look at me and calmly told him that his social worker was not here.  He was safe with me.  We took some deep breaths and it was over.  This time. 

As time passes these events become fewer.  Marvin now climbs everything.  He is excited about helicopters and wants to fly one to the moon.  He realizes that I will come back for him.  I hope and dream of the day that the only triggers he has will be the good kind.  Like peach ice cream on a hot summer day. 


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