I bet you can guess what this post will be about:).
So a couple of posts ago I touched on Cary's refusal to gain weight. I have started operation beef up baby with mixed results. The good news is that Cary has is putting ounces on. She has put on close to 4 ounces. The bad news is she still doesn't like to eat so I have had to use some more sneaky tactics to get the food in.
I remember when we brought Marvin home. He ate anything. Literally. Brussel sprouts, lima beans, fish, oysters. Anything you put in front of him. I prided myself on having a non picky child and found myself dispensing advice to others. I got picky children to eat in my care for years. I cajoled, bribed, and stood my ground. And yes those children still eat pretty well today. At least as far as I know. I really had some nerve.
So I figured the same would be true with Cary. After all, I have had a very high success curve with others and MY son is a great eater.
Well, let's just say I have met my match. Meal time is a battle ground. Cary is grudgingly starting to accept more foods, but now that the shoe is on the other foot I don't feel quite so high and mighty anymore. I can cram it in her, but she has a gag reflex like you wouldn't believe and she throws it right back up at me. I now find myself at the other end of those patronizing remarks and wonder why parents didn't shoot me when I made the same comments.
But she is gaining. Begrudgingly, but slowly. We have reached a compromise. Mind you there is a bit of dirty pool involved, but I am taking what I can get.
This last week we went to endocrine. Cary was growing at a nice clip even if she wasn't gaining, but her body has stalled. She is dropping off the charts. When I explained that her bio family is short and skinny they countered with the fact that they are taking that into consideration. But they still have concerns about her growing. They mentioned that she may not be producing some growth hormones necessary for development. Then they brought up testing.
I am not opposed to testing. But this one scared me. They would require fasting and then place two drugs in her body. Both would pump out the hormones quicker for testing but the side effects of raising her sugars to dangerous levels, bringing on seizures, and other fun factors really made me pause.
There comes a point when you as a parent are forced to make choices. I love my child. She is NOT a freaking science project. She is a human. So I did something brave. I said no.
No is not a word doctors like to hear. But after weighing to pros and cons I really decided that at this second I am not ready to rush out and book a room and pump her full of dangerous drugs. I wanted to to research and get a second opinion. Which is what I stated. Plus I figured my husband would like to have some input.
So the grumpy doctor left the room and came back with another doctor who went through the same speech. But this time they told me there was no rush and we could wait until she was 4 or 5. I restated my decision. Plus I added that my husband had not been consulted and we are a team. So they gave up, took three big samples of blood and let me go home.
At this point my husband and I looked at options and found out there is another way to get growth hormones. It involves a longer hospital stay and drawing blood about every two hours. But there are no drugs involved. The body is allowed to produce hormones naturally and my child will be much safer in the end.
So for now we wait and go back in a couple of months. I am hoping that her growing speeds up some again and if she does need testing we are going to fight for option B. In the end I am my child's strongest advocate. I have to make choices. I know in my heart I have made the right choice for now. Cary is strong, but I don't think she is strong enough for this yet. I am willing to fight to the bitter end to get what is best for her. And learning that I am stronger and braver than I ever thought I could be.