It has been a quiet stretch for the last few days here. We have unpacked, washed clothes, and gotten back in step with our routines. We are adjusting to the losses of great-grandma and Mr. P. Most of the time we find ourselves smiling about memories of chewed up carpets and eaten scrapbook supplies (from the rabbit, not great-grandma). Penelope has adjusted to her role as a "widow" and has become more snuggly and playful with us.
As life marches on we turn our attention to our unending paperwork. Shannon has finally finished reading our required books. They were pretty good. Mostly on adopting hurt children (a nice way of saying so badly abused by their bio family that you wish you could find them and string them up with thumbtacks).
So now we answer very exciting questions. How would you answer some of these doozies? At this time what type of child do you feel that you can parent? I wanted to say a live one, but Shannon won't let me. At this time, what will be your expectations of your adoptive child? Will you take a child whose parents are mentally ill? Will you take a child who light fires and hurts animals? Will you take a child who is diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, ODD, and all the other alphabet soup labels that we can attach to this child? (By the way the child is two). My favorite so far is, "Describe in 250 word or less the type of child that you would be willing to parent."
How do you answer that? Would anyone look at the children they have now and say, "So sorry, you are not what I was willing to parent, time to pack up darling." I really think that it is a rather unfair question. We are not always thrilled with our children. There are days when Marvin drives me up the wall and back down again many many many times. But I love being his mom. The funny thing was, Marvin was not what Shannon and I originally wanted. We had specifically wanted to adopt an older child. I didn't want diaper duty or potty training. I wanted a nice little elementary child. A girl as a matter of fact. We had a plan. But after several false hopes and many failures Marvin came into our lives. From the moment I met him I was hooked and couldn't wait to be his mama.
Our children have their own personalities that make them unique. They also change on a regular basis. The 18 month old Marvin who came into our home was afraid of people. He was scared of women and didn't like attention. The 4 year old Marvin loves people, demands to be the center of attention, and loves to flirt with every female. I often joke that he was replaced by a pod person.
So now I have to answer that question and all the others. Maybe I should just say I want to parent a child who is willing to have a mom, dad, and brother. Because sometimes you have to be open to possibilities. The best things seem to happen when you are. Like being Marvin's mama. I wouldn't trade in one minute of it for all the elementary girls in the world.