I really wasn't planning on posting for a few days. I have lots to do. School is kicking off soon, parent orientation, trips, all sorts of stuff happening. But I wanted to take a minute and talk about loss.
Loss is something that we all go through. We loose things. Keys, socks in the dryer (did anyone ever figure out where they get to?), and people. When you are adopted you have already lost two of the most important people in your life. Your bio mom and dad. No mater how you try to play it down it is always there. You learn to live through it and around it but it is still there. So you hold on all the harder to the people around you and can be even more affected by loss. It is very painful.
Last night I said good-bye to a woman who I cared for and admired greatly. Shannon's grandmother died. True, Alzheimer's had already robbed her of so much. She had long ago forgotten me and pretty much everyone in the family. But she was still here. A tangible presence in our life. It was a quiet passing. She had been going downhill for quite some time. She had forgotten how to swallow and just closed her eyes and slipped away from us. Shannon and I are devastated. I find myself weeping for the woman who openly welcomed me into her home and spent time with me. We are hurting very badly now.
Marvin is confused. Great-grandma was well into Alzheimer's when he came onto the scene. Yet she always knew who he was right up to the end. He brought her joy. He doesn't get why we can't see her and isn't thrilled about her being in heaven. He and I both are feeling the sting of another loss in our lives. Last night he did a beautiful thing though. He has always been a bit nervous around great-grandaddy. He has a cane and talks loud due to hearing loss. Marvin kind of avoided him. But last night after we told great-grandaddy he walked over, crawled into his lap and hugged him. They sat there like that for a very long time. Marvin with his head on Freeman's shoulder just loving him. It was a beautiful moment. And a good life lesson about putting aside your grief and helping others through theirs. My prayer is that I am able to do just that and in doing so give strength and comfort to those in need. God willing, let it be so.